How to Be More Emotionally Available
Many things make us human. Perhaps most importantly, our emotions allow us to build and support loving relationships with others. However, do you find that the weight of responsibilities and past experiences make it difficult to cultivate the stable relationships you need and want? If this is the case, you may be emotionally unavailable to your loved ones, which will take a toll on your engagements with others and yourself. Read below to learn how to open up to your emotional self to benefit from the love that results.
There Is a Difference Between Emotions and Feelings
Consider that feelings are the tip of the iceberg that exists above water. Our feelings can be seen and shared with ourselves and others quickly, as they can be seen. Our emotions, however, are the larger and more mysterious roots of our feelings that can be even more difficult to navigate and engage with beneath the surface. Our emotions can be expressed consciously but also in our subconscious.
Why Be Emotionally Available?
Relationships are some of the most complex endeavors in our lives. It's not only our romantic relationships that require an open emotional landscape, but our platonic friendships do as well. You may be dealing with an emotionally unavailable person if communication breaks down, if you do not safely know where the relationship stands, or if it feels as if it's plateaued. However, if we remain aware of our emotions and share them openly, we can demonstrate empathy, improve our listening skills, and be more present in our mindsets.
Why Do We Become Emotionally Unavailable?
There are many unique reasons why people become emotionally unavailable. Commonly, those stuck in the past, those with significant trauma, and those lacking skills in recognizing emotions fear intimacy and vulnerability. However, there is the possibility that one or more causes may be at play. Each person's circumstances are unique, and engaging in these behaviors needs care and intention as you move forward.
How to Improve Your Emotional Availability
Are you struggling to feel in touch with your emotions? Below are some ways to start improving the connection to yourself and others around you.
- 1. Take Time For Yourself: Alone time is nourishing in several complex ways. Take adequate time to recharge before you dive into relationships—this will prepare you for the effort and energy it takes to cultivate connections.
- 2. Understand Your Emotional Threshold: It's one thing to react and another to understand. Before responding to feeling emotionally overloaded, tune into your cues, boundaries, and thresholds. Recognizing the patterns is the first step to working through them.
- 3. Talk to Someone: It can be a scary thought, but opening yourself up to others will make sharing your emotions much more manageable. Start by looking into a therapist you trust so that there is a neutral and supportive confidant.
- 4. Take a Leap of Faith: True growth occurs when we stretch our boundaries. Take a leap of faith and let someone in your life have the opportunity to interact with your emotions. This may be scary at first, but also necessary for your journey.
Our relationships offer some of the greatest joys—learn to be there for them in ways that will make them stronger and longer lasting by becoming more emotionally available!
