Picking Positive Friends

Friendship may be the most underrated type of relationship. Nearly everyone has special people in their lives that they consider to be their friends and yet, it is very common for them to be dismissed as being less important than lovers, co-workers and family members. This should not be the case! A true friend can be a confidant, a counselor and they can provide a support system which will buoy you in the hard times.

However, many times the people who we thought were our close friends turn out to have an ulterior motive, based on selfishness. This is always a disappointing and sad realization to make. While forgiveness is an important part of friendship, remember that your friends are your chosen family and they should treat you as such. You deserve to be respected and accepted for who you really are, without judgment.

Cutting ties from a best friend can be as painful as a romantic parting of ways. Many people become so disillusioned by a slew of bad friends that they dismiss the idea of friendship altogether and rely only on acquaintances and hired hands to help them out. This response to being hurt by a friend is a method of self-defense. You can't get your feelings hurt if there isn't anyone around to hurt them.

So, instead of going through the cycle of meeting someone new, trusting them and depending on them, only to get wounded by their actions in the long run, you should simply follow these three easy steps.

1. Find a stable person who has a high caliber of morals. To pick positive friends you should frequent positive places. Just like a sexual relationship, it's best to meet people in places other than bars and nightclubs. Places such as gyms, social clubs, religious groups and adult classes are a much better choice when you are looking to land a new best friend. People who are motivated and curious enough to attend these positive places are more likely to put a genuine effort into your friendship as well.
2. Let the friendship grow slowly over time. Many times in life, warning signs get overlooked during hectic times of distraction and busyness. Even if you hit it off right away, take a little step back before revealing too much information about yourself. Financial and emotional problems are tempting to talk about at first, but you may regret it later down the road if the friendship doesn't turn out as you had originally expected. Feel free to express your opinions about things, but keep in mind that you really don't completely know this potential friend quite yet. Allow the friendship to blossom, without rushing into super personal details right off the bat.
3. Listen closely and actively observe them. This applies to any type of human communication, but it is especially important while establishing trust with another person. When you really hear what someone else has to say about life, you may notice some red flags in your friendship, before it is too late. Pay attention to their facial expressions and body language as well. Do they smile and laugh a lot? Or is their brow constantly furrowed, they frequently frown or they roll their eyes at everything? Choose someone who expresses themselves in a consistently positive manner, both through their words and with their body.