Four Steps To Deal With Loss

Throughout our lives, we each experience much loss and disappointment. It’s the way of the world. While we can’t do much to prevent loss and disappointment, we are able to control how we react to the loss so that eventually the loss is less devastating and we can continue on in spite of our pain.

For many of us, the loss of a loved one will be one of the most devastating and painful events in our lives. However, other disappointments in life can feel, in the present moment, just as devastating and frustrating as the loss of a loved one. The pain becomes magnified and we may lose our perspective on the situation whether it is the death of a loved one, a divorce or a job loss. By taking the time to process your emotions surrounding the loss, you will be a in a better position to move on to the next chapter in your life.

Step #1: Feel Your Pain

Don’t automatically try to “fix the problem”. But many times when it comes to loss, the only way to fix the problem is to process the loss and move on. You aren’t able to do that if you never let yourself feel the pain of the loss. Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions without fear. Find a person that you trust and who will listen to your emotions without offering a quick solution, unwanted advice or judgment.

Step #2: Make Peace with Reality

Once you’ve allowed your emotions to play out and you feel a bit calmer, it’s time to take a look at the new reality of your life. Take an honest look at what’s in front of you and don’t dwell on what was or should have been. If you lost your job, start networking or sign up for classes that will get you that certification you need. If you are in an unhealthy relationship, you have to decide whether you want to put forth the effort to reconcile or if it’s time to move on. Either way, you need to take the time to calmly and rationally analyze what’s left in the aftermath of your loss.

Step #3: Weigh Your Options

Very rarely in life will you find that you have no choice regarding the path you take in life. You may not always like the options that lie ahead of you, but there will always come a time when you need to take control of your life and choose which path to take. Whether you find that you need to write a pro and con list, confide in a trusted mentor or just go with your gut, you need to take the time to analyze which course of action is most likely to get you where you want to go in life.

Step #4: Take a Leap of Faith

After the emotions are expressed and you’ve thought rationally about your situation and decided on the course of action, it’s time to act.

By taking the time to process your loss, you are giving yourself the best chance to move past the pain and into your future. Even if you suffer loss after loss, it’s important to remember that these four steps will help you survive, and even thrive in the future that you created for yourself.