Ghosted: Psychic Tips for Protecting Your Energy in a Disappointing Dating Scene

By Medium Jozette - Ext. 892421

In my field of work, I deal with two types of ghosts. One type is the unsettled spirits of people with unfinished business on the earthly plane. The second is a newer type that arose with the advent of dating apps: people who disappear from a romantic interest without explanation. In its worst form, a committed partner cuts off all communication from their significant other.

I'm sure this phenomenon has existed in one form or another as long as dating has been around, but technology has given us an increased sense of connection that is often illusory. While in the past, someone afraid of breaking something off would have stopped coming around or calling, you likely had some friend or family connection with them that you could leverage to hold them accountable.

With more than 50% of couples meeting online these days, it's more likely that your friend and family networks don't overlap with your matches, making it easier to disappear without a trace (and, conveniently, without a sense of responsibility or accountability).

Since we can connect with the same person on multiple social media platforms, sometimes even before meeting them, we feel more connected to those around us than ever. But there is no substance behind this virtual connection—not in the sense of what really makes connecting with other humans meaningful and an essential part of the human experience. Social media is a curated version of people's lives—having access to the parts of them they want you to see is not truly knowing someone.

It may feel extra frustrating when someone who seemed like they had so much potential stops responding after you've been connected outside of the app you met on. But remember - severing digital ties with someone is as simple as unmatching, unfollowing, or blocking. Unlike when you unsubscribe from a website, there is no exit survey that asks them to explain their actions or provide a reason.

Why Do People Ghost?

So why do people ghost? While ghosters do basically lack empathy, it's not that simple. Fear of confrontation, emotional immaturity, fear of connection and vulnerability, unhealed wounds, the return to an old relationship, or simply misaligned energies are all reasons why people ghost. A 2021 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that around 25% of participants had been ghosted by a partner. This highlights how common the experience is and how emotionally distressing it can be for those receiving it.

While the reasons are often complicated, two things are certain if you've been ghosted: one, someone who is not grown up enough to be honest with you is not worth your tears, and two, ghosting says more about the ghoster than it does about your worth as a partner. And honestly, in many cases, the universe is just protecting you from something far worse.

But when challenged with someone who has ghosted you, nothing can console you easily because you don't know the facts that caused them to pull away. This lack of closure can be incredibly difficult. It leaves you questioning yourself and wondering what you could have done differently. Remember, it's not about you; it's about their inability to communicate effectively.

If you've been single in the last decade, you've likely had some experience with ghosting. It can be hard to pick yourself up and get back out there in a disappointing dating scene where everyone says they're ready to settle down, but seemingly no one is ready to commit. Here are some psychic tips for protecting your energy in a disappointing dating scene and navigating the complexities of modern romance with greater confidence and resilience.

Protecting Your Energy in the Modern Dating Scene

The world of online dating can be a minefield. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of potential connections, only to be left feeling drained and disheartened when things fizzle out. But don't despair! By being mindful of your energy and taking proactive steps, you can navigate this landscape more effectively and find the meaningful connections you seek.

1. Try to Schedule a Date or a FaceTime Call After the First Few Days of Talking

There's a balance to be struck between deciding if there's a base level of compatibility and creating a false sense of intimacy with someone you haven't met yet. Talking via text over a span of one or multiple weeks makes you feel as if you know someone. You don't.

To truly determine if something deeper is possible, you need to meet someone in person to be able to read their energy. More importantly, you can only determine if your energies are aligned through hearing their voice and being in their physical presence.

I understand that nerves and busy schedules can sometimes make scheduling that first in-person meeting difficult. However, the sooner you can move from virtual chatting to a real-life encounter (or at least a video call), the better you can gauge if there's genuine potential. Aim to meet within a week or two of initial contact to avoid building up unrealistic expectations.

2. Don't Follow Someone on Social Media Before You Meet Them in Person

I typically advise you not to exchange cell phone numbers with someone before a date. Suppose someone asks you for your Instagram handle before you meet them. In that case, they are likely trying to see more photos of you. Still, your dating profile should be enough for them to determine an interest sufficient to meet you in person.

To the point above, having access to someone's social media before you meet them creates a false sense of intimacy. Still, you only see their curated parts, not who they are. Despite how long you've been messaging and how far back you've scrolled on their profile, you don't know them. On the other hand, you need to protect access to your own life.

Just because we live in an era where almost everyone is searchable doesn't mean you must freely give access to these parts of your life. How many past matches do you have as perpetual story viewers after the connection fizzled out? Time to clean up and cleanse your digital energy. Think of it as a digital detox, creating a healthier online environment for yourself.

3. Don't Get Too Excited Before You Meet Someone in Person

Don't get too excited before your first five or six dates. Heck, make it eight. In my reading practice, I have used the self-created "eight-day rule," which might just be the title of my next book!

Heightening your excitement over them places unnecessary pressure on the connection before you can even determine if one is really there. Someone who is perfect on paper may not live up to your expectations in person. Or, truthfully, they may not live up to the idea of them that you have built up in your head.

This excitement is based on who you hope they are going to be, and it prevents you from meeting them as who they are and letting the connection unfold as it is meant to. It can even spoil the potential for a connection by not giving them the opportunity to reveal themselves to you in due time.

For these reasons, I always advise clients to go on the first several dates without expectations or being attached to a predetermined outcome. Your story with this person could already be foretold, so let the connection develop as it's meant to.

4. Make the Energy Shift From "I Hope They Like Me" to "I Hope I Like Them"

The energy you bring to a date is palpable. If you spend the whole date trying to be who you think they want, you forget to be authentic. You might spend the whole date trying to get to a second one that you realize at some point you don't even like the person you're dating! Dating should be about finding your match - someone whose energy is compatible with yours.

Spending your time with a new person trying to be "likable" (whatever that means) does you a disservice by not allowing yourself to discover whether you truly like this person for who they are. Relax, be present, and allow your date to tell you who they are through their words and actions.

Remember, you are a unique and valuable individual. Your worth is not determined by whether someone else likes you. Focus on being the best version of yourself, and the right person will appreciate you for who you are.

How a Psychic Can Help You Navigate the Dating Scene

If you're feeling lost or discouraged in your search for love, a psychic reading can offer valuable guidance and support. They can provide insights into your current situation, help you identify potential blocks, and offer advice on how to attract the right partner.

Here are a few ways a psychic can assist you:

• Clarify Your Desires: A psychic can help you delve deeper into your own heart and understand what you truly seek in a relationship.
• Identify Energetic Blocks: They can pinpoint any energetic imbalances that might be hindering your ability to connect with others.
• Provide Guidance on Specific Connections: If you're unsure about someone you've met, a psychic can offer insights into their energy and the potential for a lasting relationship.
• Offer Timing Predictions: While the future is never set in stone, a psychic can provide a general timeframe for when you might meet someone significant. This insight helps you to understand if you are moving in the right direction to find a lasting relationship.

Moving Forward After Being Ghosted

Being ghosted can be a painful experience, but it's important to remember that it's not a reflection of your worth. It's an opportunity to learn, grow, and refine your approach to dating. Don't let one negative experience derail your search for love.

Here are some tips for moving forward:

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel the disappointment, hurt, and frustration. Don't try to suppress your emotions.
• Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Remember that you are deserving of love and respect.
• Reflect on the Experience: Consider what you've learned about yourself and what you're looking for in a partner.
• Focus on Self-Improvement: Use this time to work on yourself, pursue your passions, and build a fulfilling life.
• Don't Give Up: The right person is out there. Keep an open heart and continue to put yourself out there, but do so with awareness and discernment.

Embrace the Journey

The path to finding love in today's digital age, with its unique challenges like ghosting, can often feel like a winding maze. Yet, every twist and turn offers a chance for self-discovery and growth. Each experience, good or bad, shapes us and clarifies what we truly seek in a relationship.

Protecting your energy is key. Set boundaries, recognize red flags, and never settle for less than you deserve. Stay true to yourself; your authenticity will attract those who appreciate you for who you are. Seeking guidance along the way, whether from friends or a trusted psychic advisor, is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Remember, the journey to love is personal and unique. Embrace the uncertainties, learn from setbacks, and celebrate the small victories. Cultivate self-love, recognize your worth, and trust that the right person will appear at the right time. Don't let the fear of ghosting dim your light. View it as a filter, clearing the path for a love built on genuine connection and respect.

Embrace the journey. Stay true to yourself. The fulfilling relationship you desire is within reach. Keep your heart open and your spirit strong, and believe in the power of love. You are worthy of a love that honors and respects you, and the journey, with all its challenges, will ultimately lead you there.