Soul Connections: Why It's Hard to Let Go (When You Know You Should)
By Medium Jozette - Ext. 892421
We all have that one person in our past we think about from time to time. (Or EVERY day!) Someone with whom everything felt right except for the timing, and you can't help but wonder if things had just been a little different from what your life would look like right now. It's hard not to dwell on things with this person because your time with them feels unfinished. The incompleteness of your connection with them makes you feel like the door will always be open for reconnection.
You may have started dating again or have even found someone new. Maybe you're even in love again. But the fact that you can't get this person out of your head prevents you from fully moving on and giving all of yourself to new connections. It makes you feel as if you might actually be soulmates of some sort. Over time, we gradually forget the person's flaws and hardships that were present in the relationship and romanticize their memory, which makes moving on that much harder.
There are many reasons why it's hard to let go of these connections and move on, even when you know you should. There could be a bigger spiritual reason, maybe you chose this as a soul contract even before coming to the Earth dimension. Maybe there is simply unfinished learning from a past life? The likely principal reason is that, yes, you do have a soul-connected bond. But it doesn't mean what you think (or hope) or that you're supposed to end up happily ever after.
My Own Soul Connection Story: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth
I have had someone like this in the past. Let's call him Aaron. Aaron was everything (I thought) I wanted in a partner: he was handsome and fit, an understated intellectual with a good, stable corporate job. I loved that he was social and had many different hobbies that kept him active and outdoors.
You could tell he had been popular and well-liked in high school, which is something my inner teenager secretly enjoyed. And truthfully, our first few months together were perfect. I may have romanticized him in a way that elevated his attributes while downplaying his flaws, but I had never felt a connection with someone like this. Like one of those clichés, all of the love songs I had always just casually listened to suddenly made sense.
But everything was perfect until it wasn't, and then all of the songs about heartbreak that had never resonated with me suddenly also made sense. We had gotten to a point in seeing each other when I knew I was ready to have the "what are we" conversation and confident in my choice.
Up until then, I felt that everything was reciprocated and my energy was matched, which had always been missing or unbalanced in previous relationships.
To my shock, and another reminder that we intuitives still have to learn the Earth the hard way, he said he wasn't ready. Shortly before we met, he had gotten out of a ten-year relationship with his high school sweetheart. I had hesitated when I found that out, but he reassured me it was amicable, and they were both ready to move on.
Being ready to move on didn't mean being ready to commit to someone new. So, he told me we could "work towards a relationship," whatever that means, but he wanted to keep things more or less noncommittal for the time being.
The Cycle of Hope and Heartbreak: Recognizing the Signs of a Toxic Relationship
You might be screaming at your screen by now, but I agreed. I liked him so much that I was willing to give him the space he needed before he felt confident enough to take that next step. The last thing I wanted was to badger him into something he wasn't willing or ready to do.
But without the security of a relationship, I became irritable and overthought everything. I couldn't reconcile how I could feel so sure, but he needed more time. Another flaw that quickly became evident was his communication skills, which were almost nonexistent.
Obviously, my love was an avoidant. He resisted any conversation about his hesitations or what he would need to feel confident moving forward. We devolved into a toxic cycle of breaking things off, but we always came back together. He seemed sincere and breadcrumbed me enough to always keep me coming back, but his avoidant tendencies ensured we never had an open and heartfelt discussion on what our future would look like. The fact that we kept reuniting indicated the strength of our connection, but something always felt off ENOUGH that I would try to end things repeatedly.
Truthfully, I felt I could work on those skills with him. I'm a naturally good communicator, and I've earnestly worked on this my whole adult life with my clients. So, I knew how it could be difficult to open those doors and keep them open with him, but I was willing to give him the time and patience I knew I had within!
Of course, looking back, my ever-evolving empathic side was unwilling to give up. I knew he was an imperfect person, but aren't we all? Back then, mental health and healthy communication styles, particularly for men, weren't a common discussion. I hoped that at some point, things would click and we'd find ourselves on the same page.
The Final Breaking Point
But it turns out that moment wasn't meant for us. After the last time I broke things off, he started dating again. By the time we completed the evolution and returned to each other, he informed me that he was seeing someone and wanted to explore this new connection. To say I was distraught was an understatement. It was a painful and difficult moment in a journey that had already been filled with many such moments.
We had been doing this song and dance for a year, and it had seemed inevitable that we would always boomerang back to each other. I knew the cycle was toxic, but instead of coming back to each other a little more robust each time, we were both just a little more fatigued with it. I kept clinging to the fantasy of those first few months, even after being disillusioned. For my own mental health, I had to sever ties with him and try to move on.
The Struggle to Move Forward
It's easy to tell a friend to ditch him and move on, but it's much more complicated when you're that friend. And for a long time, it felt like moving on was impossible.
I started dating right away, assured that once I found someone new to be excited about, my connection to Aaron would diminish. But it didn't. Instead, I compared everyone new to him, and no one measured up. This was probably because they were being stacked against an ideal, not a flawed, avoidant man who clearly had some issues to work on, separately from me.
It was so hard to move on because that hope was kept alive - that if we hadn't met so soon after the end of his previous long-term relationship, he would have been ready to commit; that if he had enough time, he would have been ready to commit; and more.
Understanding Soul Connections vs. Destiny
But "hopes" and "ifs" don't have space in a successful romantic soulmate connection. Even in soulmate connections, relationships are work. I thought because we kept returning to each other that that meant we were meant to keep exploring things, but it was never stronger than before. All of these years later, I can recognize that we did have a soul connection, but we were not meant to be successful in this life but rather to learn about ourselves and experience higher-intentioned growth.
The Journey to Healing
Despite my own proven psychic abilities, things are often clouded when I try to read my own future and energy. That's because, subconsciously, we are trying to interpret signs from the universe in a way that aligns with our own selfish hopes and desires. I give excellent UNBIASED guidance, so many times I tried to sit down and tell myself what I would tell my client if they were going through the same? That's why it's helpful, or even necessary, to seek out the guidance of an unbiased third party.
Breaking Free: Steps to Move Past a Soul Connection
1. Recognize True Signs vs. Wishful Thinking
In the weeks after my last breakup with Aaron, I noticed signs that I felt were synchronicities pointing me back toward him. Every time I saw one, I felt sure that the universe was telling me to reach out to him. But my meditations showed that the universe wasn't giving me signs; conversely, the universe was testing me.
If I saw a sign and reached out to him, it meant I still needed to learn my lesson. And, boy, did the universe love testing me. As my healing progressed, I was able to see these signs and recognize them for what they were. Instead of feeling a renewed longing for him, I fondly recalled our time together. I wished him well without lamenting the fact that I wasn't part of his story anymore.
2. Practice Radical Self-Love
Eventually, Aaron reached out to me again. I would be lying if I said I didn't entertain the thought of agreeing to meet for a drink. But this time, I chose myself. I had done enough during our time together to show him that I was serious about being with him and making him feel wanted.
In retrospect, I kept coming back to him, hoping he would feel that I was enough for him one day. I needed to accept that I was already enough. So, I told him no and then ate a lot of chocolate for most meals for a while.
3. Honor the Connection's Purpose
When dealing with a soul connection that isn't meant to last, it's essential to understand its purpose in your life. These connections often serve as:
- Mirrors reflecting what we need to heal within ourselves
- Catalysts for personal growth and self-discovery
- Teachers of valuable life lessons about boundaries and self-worth
- Guides showing us what we truly want in future relationships
4. Create New Patterns
To truly move forward, you need to:
- Establish firm boundaries with yourself about contact
- Develop new routines that don't trigger memories
- Focus on personal growth and self-improvement
- Allow yourself to feel the grief without acting on it
- Practice mindfulness to stay present rather than dwelling on "what-ifs"
5. Embrace the Future Without Attachment
And yes, life did go on. I met new soul-connected humans and married (and divorced a couple of times). Obviously, the universe felt I needed a truckload of more life lessons. I still wonder from time to time if things would have been different had Aaron and I met a little later in time, and I think the answer is no.
If we meet in our next life, we'll be similarly drawn by the sense of our incomplete connection, or this life's experience rounds out our soul connection. Either way, I've come to accept that I've concluded my business with him on this current life path.
Your Path Forward
The journey of letting go of a soul connection is deeply personal and often challenging. It requires patience, self-compassion, and sometimes professional guidance. Remember that acknowledging the connection's significance doesn't mean you're meant to pursue it forever. Sometimes, the greatest act of love is releasing someone while honoring what they taught you.
Does my story resonate with you? Are you having trouble letting go of a connection and unsure if it's meant to be? If so, I would love to guide you towards clarity on your situation and help you understand their purpose on your life path.
Book a reading with Medium Jozette to understand your soul connection.
Trust me when I say that sometimes, the most challenging soul connections become our greatest teachers. Looking back now, I can see how every tear and moment of confusion led me to exactly where I needed to be, both as a person and as your spiritual guide.
If you're feeling lost in the maze of a powerful connection, know that clarity is possible, and I'm here to help you find it.
