Put Jealousy in Its Place

If all of life is a journey, then it's a fact that some people get to travel first class while others are in coach. But what do you do when feelings of envy arise as you watch friends and family obtain comforts that are missing from your life?

While many of us have struggled with feelings of jealousy within a relationship, it can be difficult to be honest with ourselves when we experience feelings of envy about the lives that other people lead.

First, you need to realize that it's easy to fall into the trap of being jealous as you look at the lives of others and compare their haves to your have-nots. If you continue to dwell on these comparisons, you will build the perfect environment for jealousy, anger and resentment to grow in your mind and heart.

For you to find your happiness and satisfaction in your life, it's vital that you refuse to let these toxic emotions fester. Instead, put jealousy in its place and embrace the life you're living as your own.

Reality Check #1

You must remember that you never have access to the full truth of someone's life. You only see what they present to the world. So while their life may be your idea of perfect, you don't know what challenges they face in the privacy of their home or heart.

At the same time, don't let yourself get wrapped up in the idea that your friend is wildly unhappy despite their material comforts. Try to get to a place where you can be happy that your friend has access to luxuries and that his or her good fortune doesn't take away from the blessings in your life. If it's hard for you to see the blessings in your life, try keeping a gratitude journal. This exercise could help you focus on what you do have, instead of what you feel is missing.

Reality Check #2

Live with the budget you have and make no apologies. There is no need for you to keep up with everything that your friends have. True friends don't expect their friends to go into debt or reciprocate hospitality dollar for dollar. You can be loving and generous with your friends in a way that suits your budget.

Reality Check #3

Use the opportunity to check in with your financial goals and ambitions. Did you follow your heart to be a social worker instead of an investment banker? Remind yourself of the goals you set and what first drew you to your calling. You may have chosen a career path that is short on financial reward, but with significant returns on emotional fulfillment. If you find that you no longer feel connected to your original calling, maybe it's time to make some changes. Should you start saving more or do you need to return to school to pursue a new dream?

Chronic jealousy can infiltrate the most well-meaning heart and destroy valuable friendships. It's important to do your part to put jealousy in its place so that you can have healthy and satisfying relationships with the people you love.